I have been living in Nevada for about ten months now and I thought it was high time I started trying to meet new people by putting myself out there. The only problem is that I I have two jobs and go to school full time, which consumes much of my life. It does not leave any room to actually go out and meet people the “old-fashioned” way, which is why I have found myself online dating.
I never realized how many apps there were for specifically for meeting people. It was a tad overwhelming, but I decided to use the ones that were free and easy to use. I hate trying to figure out how to work apps. Let’s just say that I like when I already know how to use things. I decided to put myself on as many as possible. I joined Tinder first, which I talk about in my post Meeting New People. I also joined OkCupid and Plenty of Fish. I prefer OkCupid over Plenty of Fist and Tinder. You find people with similar interests because after you make your profile you answer questions about yourself and what you prefer and then you say what you would prefer in your ideal partner. I’ve had a few people message me, but I’m pretty old-fashioned. I like to be wooed so if you say “hey,” “hi,” or “what’s up” or anything in that variation I will not respond because honestly, those conversations lead nowhere. I’ve met some potential guys, which is great, but what really irritates me is that they do no want any sort of commitment. They only want friends with benefits relationship. Every. Single. Guy.
A friends with benefits relationship is pointless. Speaking from experience, I have been in one before. I was in one for FOUR YEARS. FOUR FUCKING YEARS. A friends with benefits relationship is nothing more than an excuse for someone not to commit to one person and sleep around. That’s not how my friends with benefits relationship was per say (I will go more into that later), but Urban Dictionary defines a friends with benefits relationship as “Two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment.”
When I am talking to a guy, we get to the point where we ask each other what we are looking for. I always say that I am looking to meet new people and see where things go in hopes that we may have a relationship. The guy will then say they are looking for nothing serious, but just a friends with benefits relationship. I will then ask them why their profile says they are looking for a relationship. Their response, “Oh, I’m looking for a friends with benefits relationship.” I always tell the guys that I am not interested because I had been in one before. Most are considerate and tell me things won’t work out and then there are some that will badger me and say that I should try it again and it will be different. Let me explain why it does not work:
One person always develops feelings (it’s always the girl).
The other person will make it so that you are only with them and no one else (it’s always the guy)
In the end, it won’t be what either of you wanted.
This is why we have relationship problems in society. This is why I, someone like me, can’t find a decent date. It seems as if people don’t want to be a relationship because they do not want to have to deal with the effort that it takes to maintain a relationship. This really needs to change.