A Sign

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I can’t remember exactly how our relationship started. People often ask me how I got involved with B, but I can’t exactly recall how everything began. We had been doing this “thing” for so long, that I didn’t even know what to call it. I didn’t call him my boyfriend, but it felt like it. He was just a guy I was involved with.

I remember when I invited him over one night. I think it was sometime last year or maybe the year before. It had been a while since we had last talked. It felt like something was off. Something just didn’t feel right. We went back to my room and we laid in my bed together. He always said he liked to hold me. I had my Pandora playlist playing from one of my favorite artists, the Weeknd. One song, I had never heard, began to play. I didn’t know what the song was called or who it was even by, but the lyrics really spoke to me.

Trying to convince myself I’ve found the one

Making the mistake I never learned from  

I swear, I always fall for your type

I just can’t explain it at all

“Change the song, ” he said, breaking me from my reverie. “I’m not really feeling the vibe.”

I took my time changing the song because I wanted to continue listening to it. It was called Fall for Your Type by, Jamie Foxx. I kept listening to the lyrics. The resonated with me. I felt like it was talking about me. Me and B. It was a sign. The awkwardness of everything. The way things felt at the moment. I needed to move on, but I couldn’t.

The song read my soul. I chose to ignore it. If I would have taken that night as a sign, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Extremely heartbroken.

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About meetmeinnevada

A Kansas girl trying to navigate the changes of the big city of Las Vegas, Nevada by talking about life, thoughts, and relationships.
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4 Responses to A Sign

  1. In a different life, maybe you never would have even met. I know it can be alluring to think about how things could have been better but weren’t, but it’s such a defeatist attitude. I know this isn’t easy at all, I’m not knocking you on that, but I think it may be more helpful for you to look at what is instead of what could be. Sometimes we make mistakes, sometimes things don’t happen the way we want them to, but we must learn to live with the result. At any rate, I wish you the best in getting over this. Sending love your way ❤❤❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. jadecostello says:

    It’s human instinct to look for all the signs that would have led you on a different path – almost to try and put blame on something (usually yourself) – but I don’t think you should be looking backward (as hard as I know that is), look forward, move forward. Trust yourself and your instincts – every heartbreak is a lesson learned. It’s a shitty situation, but you will be okay and it will get better. 2017 has already started you off with an amazing achievement and goal. Don’t be so hard on yourself and let yourself heal with all the time you need. Hugs from the UK ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The thing is, broken hearts do heal eventually. So you will be able to move on. It was never the right place for you to be. It sucks now of course, but in the longer term you’ll come to realise. It’s just part of the process and when the time and the place in right. Great love will come. The kind that you deserve, the kind that nurtures you and makes you better. I’ve been where you are ( more than once ) but you just have to have hope in the future. x

    Like

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