Not the Favorite

Image result for the favorite child

Have you ever seen those movies where the main characters’ mother/father doesn’t seem to care about them? It’s a quite common occurrence in movies and is rarely ever resolved. That’s the relationship I have with my mother. I feel like I have spent my whole life trying to please her, but I’ve done nothing but fail. I know this may sound cliche, but I just wish I could hear her say that she’s proud of me. Not once have I heard this. I’ve heard people tell me that she is, but I’ve never heard her say it to me.

The other day someone said to me, “You and your mom sound really close because of the way you talk about her.” I wanted to tell them how wrong they were. The hear all the things we have in common, but they don’t hear that they almost mean nothing to her.

I know I’m not her favorite child. I can see it. I can even feel it. I first noticed it when I was growing up. She had cute little nicknames for my sister but didn’t have any for me. She was almost always passive and never affectionate. It grew worse as I became older. I know parents say they don’t have a favorite, but it’s blatantly obvious they do. It hurts.

It’s as if there is something about me that she doesn’t like. I can’t figure it. My accomplishments were always sub par compared to my sister. When I was in high school I received a report card with all A’s, but one C. My mother saw nothing, but the C. When my sister received her report card with B and C’s, my mother was so proud. She was never as happy about my accomplishments as I was. I was constantly seeking gratification. I graduated college. “Are you proud of me?” I finally passed an entrance exam to my program of study in college? “Are you proud of me?” I finished the fall semester with a 4.0. “Are you proud of me?” I feel like I’m constantly trying to please, but no matter how hard I try, I have to constantly ask her if she is proud of me.

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About meetmeinnevada

A Kansas girl trying to navigate the changes of the big city of Las Vegas, Nevada by talking about life, thoughts, and relationships.
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5 Responses to Not the Favorite

  1. samantha07 says:

    I can definitely relate. For some odd reason my mom and I like to seek approval from my oldest sister and I find that my mom picks out the flaws in literally everything I do and she runs off to tell my sister. I don’t think my oldest sister is the favorite, though. I’m almost sure it’s my 15 year old sister. She is the only one with pretty green eyes, she has a lot of resemblance to my dad who passed away more than a decade ago. My mom goes above and beyond to please her no matter how poorly my sister treats my mom. Every single one of my family members can see when she’s up to no good or when she’s lying to my mom about something, but since she has my mom wrapped around her finger she always finds herself being rewarded for all the bad she does. The rest of us are made to look like the bad guys, funny how it works, isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s exactly how my sister is. She apparently does no wrong and when I call her out on it, I get in trouble. It’s irritating and I hate putting up with it. I hate to say it, but when I finish school I’m moving far away and cutting contact. Honestly my mother wouldn’t notice.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Nepenthe says:

    Oh yeah.. . I’ve been there too. A couple days ago I basically gave my mom solid proof that my sister was getting herself into trouble and somehow I got yelled at & her actions were justified. I’m just waiting for my older sister to move out so that I can leave with her, it’ll be so much easier that way since we’re pursuing the same career!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. TheOriginalPhoenix says:

    I don’t feel that way about my parents so I guess I’m lucky. I’m sorry you have to keep validating yourself for your mum. If you ask me, she isn’t family to you at all. Family should just love you regardless of what you do.

    Liked by 1 person

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