I remember when I ran into an old friend when I was out and about running errands one day and I made the mistake of deciding to meet up with them again to “catch up.” As awkward as it was, I managed to sit through the idle conversation and forced smiles. It never really occurred to me why I was ever friends with her. She was never very nice to me. She liked to call me names and tell me I was stupid. I usually ignored her. Whenever I talked, she liked to interrupt me because whatever I had to say wasn’t important. When we were friends, I never really noticed this stuff, but now it was like a giant elephant in the room. I spoke up when she called me names. I politely reminded her that I didn’t get to finish my story when she interrupted. I noted the subtle shock she displayed when I spoke out.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re kind of a bitch now,“ she said. I was thinking the same thing, quite frankly. Actually, she was always a bitch.
That was her way of telling me that I changed. I was a bitch because I finally had the courage to stand up for myself. When we were friends, I had the worst self-esteem. Our friendship was one-sided. I feel that she was the only one that benefitted from it. When she said mean things to me, I thought this was how a friendship was supposed to be, but I was wrong. Friends don’t put each other down and make them feel like they are not worthy.
I am not the same fragile person I was when we met. I know how to stand up for myself because I know my worth. Some people change for the better and some people change for the worst. I believe I have changed for the better. I don’t know what’s worse, seeing that the person you used to be friends with changed or seeing that the person you used to be friends hadn’t changed at all.