My Ten-Year-Old Short Story: Part 1

When I was talking to M.Gin about her post “I Wrote This? Really?” I couldn’t help notice that she keeps her old pieces of writing just like I do. We were talking about how sometimes  they are embarrassing, but laughable because it allows you to see how much you have grown as a writer. I threw a lot of my old writing out because I was ashamed and embarrassed for anyone to find them. They weren’t all that great so I tossed them out, however, there was one I have kept all these years because my intention was to edit and revise my story. I wrote it when it was twelve-years-old and I have kept it ever since.

Being that it is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), I decided I would dig this specific story out and “publish” it. I’ve never told anyone about it, nor have I ever shared it. I know I am little late in participating, but better late than never. Am I right? I know that “short stories” and “novels” aren’t necessarily what I blog about, but I have been wanting to try something new, such as when I experimented with my poetry. I want to keep writing in my blog every day and I feel this will motivate me into doing, just that. So without further ado, I present to you my first hand at a short story. Be kind, I wrote this when I was twelve:


Image result for an old cottage in the woods

There is an old abandoned cottage hidden in the woods that tells a story. The paint is peeling, the wood is splintered, and windows are boarded shut. It has seen better days. The story this cottage tells is an old story that grandparents tell their grandkids. Like most stories, it has a protagonist. Her name is Mary Jovich.

Mary is twelve-years-old. She is bright, lively and has a vivid imagination. She has coarse black hair she keeps fastened into a neat bun, brown skin like caramel, and a birthmark on her right wrist that she likes to rub with her thumb. She lives with her mother, father, and sister in the small cottage in the woods. Her mother, Helen Jovich is a middle-aged woman of thirty-four, who seemed young for her years with her glowing dark skin. She does the cooking, cleaning and other miscellaneous household chores required to make the cottage a home. Her father, Hanson Jovich, is forty-five and an inventor. He has graying black hair, strong hands and wrinkles under his eyes from years of stress. He keeps the cottage in working order by maintaining its whereabouts. He  invented a cloaking device that keeps the cottage hidden from outsiders. Sometimes he leaves the house for few days on business with his mysterious friend, Mr. X who lives two towns over. Her sister, Allison is six-years-old, quiet, shy and keeps to herself. She often talks to her dolls as if they were alive and I could understand her. The Jovich family has lived in their cottage for years, keeping to themselves, but mainly to the outside world.


The year is 2120, African Americans, Asians, Hispanics, Native Americans  and any other races besides Caucasian are illegal. In 2100, an elected official by the name of Samuel Gollum took over the presidency and declared a dictatorship that expanded westward. Once in office, he changed everything. He passed a law requiring anyone who is not visibly Caucasian was to be immediately sent back to their “rightful country of origin.” He believed these people were inferior and were the reason we were divided as a nation. He referred to these people as “mutts.” In the course of twenty years, people were shipped back to “their countries.” Families were separated and lives were lost. The lucky few went into hiding, but it was risky and difficult because the risk of being discovered was a crime of unimaginable punishment. A reward was given to those that turned in mutts. Samuel Gollum secured and closed off all borders to all outlying countries in an effort to end hate and crimes of terrorism. Each country border was tightly secured and people were required to stay in their designated sectors, no one could go in or out. Government men would guard daily, reporting and recording every move outside the walls and were required to shoot insight if any tried to get over the walls. No one was allowed out of their sector.

Samuel Gollum has enforced many rules to ensure society runs smoothly and efficiently. Staying in your required sector is only one of many rules enforced by their dictator. Uniform policies were in place for both adults and children. Everyone was required to wear basic blue pants, work boots, and long sleeved shirts to show uniformity. Hair was to be cut short and never to cover the ears. Everyone was required to wear a special necklace called a “pinger” at all times, which details their whereabouts to the government. The pinger had a specific color that let everyone know the rank you were assigned. Ranks remind people of their place in society. There were four ranks of the people: Ignoreables, Unknowns, Untouchables and Unstoppables. The Ignoreables wore purple necklaces and it is one of the lowest possible ranks. They aren’t respected because they refuse to accept Samuel Gollum as their leader and participated in acts of protest. The few people that are in this rank have many restrictions. They cannot go out during certain times of the day and they are required to use separate lines when using public services in an effort to persuade them to change their ways. The Unknowns wore green necklaces which is a minor step up from the Ignoreables. They are treated better, but many do not care for them because they work jobs that keep society running. The Untouchables wore orange necklaces. They are quite respected and deemed higher in class. Once you are an Untouchable you cannot move up or down in rank, which is where this group gets their name. Many of these people work government jobs. The Unstoppables wore red necklaces. They are the highest in rank and considered royalty. These people work classified jobs and had close ties to Samual Gollum. Order is mandatory in this society. Rules must be complied to ensure society is running smoothly and efficiently.

Order is mandatory in this society. Rules must be complied to ensure society is running smoothly and efficiently. Consequences are given to those who do not follow and many are unsure what happens to those that do not comply.


Mary is sitting next to an old tree in the woods, writing a story in her diary. As she was finishing her last sentence, she heard the faint sound of leaves rustling. She quickly put her diary away in her coat pocket and jumped up. She looked around, inspecting the woods and scanning every tree and bush. The sound had ceased. She grew curious and walked near the area of the sound, but unsuccessful at finding the source. Her father had always warned her about being seen and how dire the consequences could be. The rustling sound started again and Mary’s stomach grew upset and a sense of dread set in. She hid behind a bush and held her hand over her mouth to silence her heavy breath as the rustling grew closer. When she was sure whatever it was gone, she began to quietly make her way back in the direction of the cottage. As she stepped back, a branch snapped under her foot. Crack!

“I know you’re there,” a young voice said wavering, “You can come out. I won’t turn you in.”      


To be continued. I will continue my story of the next few days. It’s rather long, but I’m glad I can finally share it. It took every part of me to hit publish. Let me know what you think and if there are any questions that you would like me to answer.


About meetmeinnevada

A Kansas girl trying to navigate the changes of the big city of Las Vegas, Nevada by talking about life, thoughts, and relationships.
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4 Responses to My Ten-Year-Old Short Story: Part 1

  1. M.Gin says:

    Aint it great? 🙂 I believe this can greatly help you improve. I like how this one started. Looking forward to the next post. Happy reminiscing! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • It feels a little weird to be quite honest. Thank you. I don’t know why I started it the way I did when I wrote. I just wanted to try something different. I’ve always enjoyed scifi novels because you can push parameters. This is only the beginning. It all comes together in the end. This was the first story that I actually meticulously thought over.

      Liked by 1 person

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