What If

 

Image credit: IMDB

 

Have you ever watched a movie and after seeing that movie it has stuck with you for the rest of your life? That happened when I watched the movie Mr. Nobody. It’s an  independent international film about a man named Nemo Nobody who recounts his life to a reporter. The film takes place in the year 2092, everyone is immortal except for Nemo; he is last man alive to have been born a mortal. Because of this, he is being interviewed by a reporter about key points in his life. He begins his story with a decision. He has to decide between living with his mother and father. What is confusing about his story is that he tells of alternate life paths, which are the result of a decision. The premise of the movie is how a decision can positively and negatively affect your life.

The reasons I am bringing this up is because at some point in our lives we have wondered how our lives would have played out if we had chosen a different path. Part of me wishes, like Nemo, that we were able to see the alternatives. Maybe if we could, we would do a better job at making difficult decisions. I’ve made a few big decisions in my life and, for the most part, I have been satisfied with the results. However, I have always wondered what would have happened if I would have picked the other option.

The biggest decision I have ever made was the decision to move to Nevada. I will admit that I made this decision in a haste. It was September of last year. I wasn’t happy with the direction of my life. Anything and everything was going wrong and I was trying my best to remain positive. In that state, I decided it would be in my best interest to leave. I have often wondered what life would have been like if I would have decided to stay.

Before I left, I was offered a job. A job that I have always wanted. I was only a temporary employee, but throughout the duration of my stay, I grew to love where I was placed. A few days before the end of my employment term, my boss asked if I wanted to stay on as a permanent employee. She was willing to work with my school schedule and asked what I would like to do. I felt awful when I had to tell that I politely decline because I was moving. She completely understood. Part of my wonders what my life would be like if I would have been able to take the job. I haven’t been able to find one like it here.

I have talked about my relationship with B quite frequently. My complicated relationship that I couldn’t seem to stay away from. I told myself that I wouldn’t talk to him when left. When I broke that promise, I told myself I wouldn’t come back to visit. When I broke that promise, I made a promise to him. A promise to remain faithful to him and he would do the same. I never stopped loving him. Since I have left, we have talked quite a bit. I didn’t want to be the first one to say that I missed him, but when he did I couldn’t help but confide my feelings as well.  I’ve always wondered if I would have decided to stay, would he have changed his ways? Was me moving a wake-up call?

As much as I focus on the bad, there has been some good that has come from this decision to move. If I would not have moved, I would have had to take an extra year off of school. In order for me to get into my program of study, I would have to pass a test and after several attempts, I have not been able to. Here, I have some leeway before I have to take the test again. Another thing, school is cheaper. It is 3/4 less than I would be paying if I would have stayed at my transfer school. I wish there was more good that I could think of from this decision, but I can’t think anything at the moment.

Referring back to what I stated in the begin. If I could play out my decisions like Nemo Nobody did, then believe I wouldn’t regret so many of the decisions I have made. This being one of them. Don’t make big decisions when you’re overcome with emotion because you might think differently in a few months.

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About meetmeinnevada

A Kansas girl trying to navigate the changes of the big city of Las Vegas, Nevada by talking about life, thoughts, and relationships.
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6 Responses to What If

  1. I love without regrets. What’s done is done, that’s how I see it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I meant I live without regrets but I guess love works too

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nice advice given by you !!

    Like

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