When you are talking to people about someone else, usually you have an identifier that tells the person who you are. An identifier is something that clearly distinguishes you from others when they don’t know you all that well. The conversation usually goes like this:
“Hey remember my friend, Kathy?”
“No, not really?”
“Remember, she has brown hair, she’s tall and works at a pet store.”
“Oh, you mean the girl that talks a lot!”
Basically, you ask a person if they remember someone that have seen or met briefly, but not enough to know them. Usually when they don’t remember you give some descriptive details about the person in hope to trigger their memory. That is usually followed with by a sudden recall of who you are talking about as well as pointing out an identifier of how they remember the person.
I remember when I found out my identifier. I should have been obvious to me, but it’s something that I never thought someone would specifically notice about me. My friend was talking to one of her friends that I had met previously and my identifier was “the clumsy girl with the big feet.”
I used to be pretty self-conscious about my feet when I was growing up. It came as a shock to me when I went shoe shopping with my mom when I was trying on shoes, none of them fit. It wasn’t until I got to the size ten aisle where I realized that it was the only size that fit me. My mom found me crying. The running joke was that my big feet were the reason for my clumsiness. That’s why my mom called me her “grace.” Despite the many years of dance, I still stumble on my feet.
I would try to hide my big feet and my clumsiness but was not successful. I would wear certain shoes that made my feet appear smaller and I would try to watch wear a stepped. I eventually developed the habit of looking down when I walked. It’s actually a pretty awful habit.
I will admit, that I am guilty of giving people an identifier, but then you often wonder what yours is. That feeling subsides when you find out what it is that people identify you as. Sometimes it can be a good identifier, sometimes it could be a bad identifier. Your identifier may be different from one person to the next. However, it’s not nice to label people. Sometimes it best not to know what people think of you.