Changes

I used to always joke, “I don’t like change, but I did vote for Obama.” I have always been someone who doesn’t like change. I mean, you’re probably thinking, “you freaking moved to Nevada and you don’t like change?” But despite that, I’ve never  really liked change. Many Taureans don’t. We stubbornly cling to our own ideas as well as habits. I have always been stuck in my ways when it comes to routines. I like things to be the same.

I recently got a new car, but it doesn’t feel like my car. I used to have a blue 2000 Toyota Corolla. I called her Indy because she was the color of indigo and she didn’t go very fast. I had that car when through my four years of college and we had been through a lot together such as road trips, getting pulled over (seven times) and late nights driving around. I was sad to part with her, but she was falling apart. She needed a new engine, brakes, and a transmission. It cost more to fix her then what she was actually worth. I left her in Kansas. My new car, 2010 Toyota Corolla, just doesn’t feel like it belongs to me.

I love my job, don’t get me wrong, but I just wish it would keep me busier. When I was living in Kansas I worked three jobs from 7 am to 6 pm every day. As much as I hated it, I actually really enjoyed it. I would wake up at 5 am, workout, make breakfast, pack my bags and be out the door by 6:30 am. I’d work for two hours at one job number one, then I would drive to school to have a class for an hour, then I would drive to job number 2 for two hours and then drive to job number three for three hours, then drive back to job number 1 for three hours. It was a lot of work, but it kept me busy. I loved running from one place to the next, eating lunch in my car and playing radio contests (1 won tickets twice!) and singing along to my favorite songs. I spent more time in my car than the average person.

I’ve been spending a lot time at home or at school by myself. I’m not used to spending this much time on my own. I love some alone time, but too much can be problematic. I used to hang out with friends every other night or I’d go to their houses to spend time with them. My friends live a thousand miles away from me and the only time I get to talk to them is via text or phone call. I have made one friend since I have been here and unfortunately we are both busy with school and can’t always hang out.

I hate to complain and whine about my problems, but writing about it really puts things in perspective. I don’t like change, but yet I managed to change my life by moving to a new state and starting over. I guess you can say that to some extent that I actually don’t mind change. Change can be a good thing, but sometimes I feel that routine is just as good. Maybe my relationship with change is what made it hard for me to actually accept it. This move has changed my idea of change for the better.

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About meetmeinnevada

A Kansas girl trying to navigate the changes of the big city of Las Vegas, Nevada by talking about life, thoughts, and relationships.
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2 Responses to Changes

  1. jadecostello says:

    I’m gonna be really honest here – hopefully I don’t offend you in anyway. (Please don’t take offense).
    From this post – you’re obviously adaptable, you may not like change – but you’ve pushed yourself to do so. To me, it sounds more like you like to be busy and involved. I think that what’s making the change seem harder – because you’re yet to be immersed in your new life.
    Speaking from experience (I’ve moved around a lot!), until you push against the feelings of “This is what I would be doing at home” and “these aren’t my actual friends”, you’re going to get yourself stuck in a rut of unhappiness and discontent. And that could be detrimental to your new venture.
    Maybe look for groups you can join? Book clubs (I don’t know if you read much), societies? Somewhere that’ll again push you into a social circle.Sometimes, you can make friends in the weirdest of places.
    It may not happen in a day or a week – but you’ll get there and you’ll settle in – but only if you allow yourself too xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m not easily offended but thanks for the fore warning. I have been pushing myself out of my comfort zone by trying to find things to join. A lot things here cost money, you wouldn’t believe but I guess that’s what you get from a big city. There aren’t very many clubs at my school that I’m interested in joining. We have like only 12 clubs. It’s pretty sad. I’m slowly trying to get involved in school events. I went to one and that we had just had and I never felt more alone. I didn’t know anyone and no one talked to me. I’m trying, it’s just frustrating. People aren’t as friendly down here as I’m used to.

      Like

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