I used to hate him. I thought he was weird. He thought I was a bitch. I first saw him, freshman year at orientation. They played Don’t Stop Believing over the loud speakers to pump us up. Everyone sat there, looking around as if trying to figure out what we were supposed to do. A skinny Asian guy with glasses, skinny jeans and spiky hair stood up on the table and started lip-syncing the song. That was my first impression of him. We wouldn’t meet again until our Introduction to Drawing class. I was serious about art, but not as serious as he was. I loved to draw and I thought taking a class so that I could draw again would be fun. I was taking it for an elective and he was taking it for his major.
In our sophomore year, we started working together. It was an on-campus job, pay was crap, but it was something that incorporated something we both loved: art and children. I ran into him on my first day on the job.
“I put in a good word for you.” he said to me.
I didn’t know whether to feel insulted or to thank him. I mustered a small thank you and continued on my day. I thought to myself, he thinks he’s so much better than me. We didn’t talk very much my first year working there and when we did the conversation was just some chatter that filled the silent void.
We became really close our junior year and even closer our senior year. We decided to hang out one day because there was a movie we both wanted to see. That is how our bond continued to grow. I found someone that loves movies as much as I do. He’d ask me about movies that most people haven’t seen before, but I had. We could go talk for hours. I became his go-to person for movie recommendations.
People used to joke that we were dating, but we were just really good friends. He fed off this and made people really think there was actual sexual tension between us. He always gave me compliments, whispered “dirty thoughts” in my ears and he’d touch me in intimate places. We’d laugh it off of course because there was nothing going on between us. We were just good friends or as he referred to is as an “old married couple.” We would bicker sometimes, but it was nothing but friendly love. I know most people think that we should be dating, but he has a girlfriend (who I think is absolutely adorable and I love) and I have always been in love with someone else (he knows that). Besides life is not like a movie where the girl falls in love with her guy friend.
I felt really awful when I left because I never got a chance to say goodbye to him properly. At our going away party at our job was the last time we saw each other. He gave me a lingering hug, I was secretly wishing it was longer.
“See you around,” he said.
“Yeah, see you.”
I didn’t know that was the last time I was going to see him.
I texted him last night for the first time since I moved out here. I said:
“Hey, I don’t want to be that friend that just fades off because life happens or that friend that doesn’t ever talk to you again. I remember you telling me someone did that to you and I don’t want to be that person. I hope you are doing well. Love and miss you!”
I didn’t hear from him and became worried. Maybe he was made at me or maybe we weren’t friends anymore. These anxious thoughts wouldn’t stop, but I soon received a message back from him.
“Omg! I miss you too! You have no idea how happy this makes me to hear from you. I thought you would be busy. I understand. How are you?”
“By the way this made me cry. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
We spent the rest of the night talking back and fourth and catching up. I told him that I was trying my best to come visit during Christmas. He’s excited and hopes that we can watch movies together again like old times. There was a never a guy friendship that I valued more than his. He’s done so much for me. I couldn’t thank him enough for always being there for me.