When I was nineteen, I had a pregnancy scare. This put my relationship with B through a harrowing test.
I have spoken about B before and most you know that we had a complicated agreement to strictly sleep with only each other, no strings attached. The arrangement made him happy and I was happy if he was happy. He’d text me when he needed and I did the same. It was a way for both of us to let off some pent up energy and de-stress.
It was about a week before midterms and I was more stressed than usual. My courseload was much heavier this semester. I was taking five classes, mainly major classes that were required for graduation. I put all of my time and energy in studying and when I wasn’t studying, I was working. I invested so much time in my school work that I completely had forgotten that I was supposed to start my period three weeks ago. I began to freak out. Why? Because ever since I was eleven years old, I have always been on time. Never early or late. I couldn’t tell B. We weren’t even together. I don’t even understand how it could have happened. We have always been careful.
When he invited me over one night, he knew I was being exceptionally cold. When he would ask me a question I would respond with one-word responses, I wouldn’t look him in the eye and when he would try to touch me I would flinch as if he were going to hit me. B was someone who doesn’t like to share his feelings, but he grew fed up with my behavior:
“What the hell is up with you? You’ve been acting weird all night.” He blurted.
I continued to look at the floor, not answering his question.
He gently grabbed my chin, forcing me to look up to him. “You have to tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help you when you don’t tell me.”
Tears started to fall down my cheek, my lip trembled and I began to sob. “I don’t want you to be mad at me.”
“Just tell me what’s wrong.”
“I’m late,” I whispered .
His eyes widened. I felt as if the air had left the room; I couldn’t breath.
“Are you sure?” he asked
“Yes!” I yelled, “I’m bever late! I’m always on time. It’s been three weeks!”
He pulled me closer and hugged me tight. “Hey, we can do this. It’s okay. We’ll get through this. I love you.”
At the time, we had had this agreement for over a year. He had never told me he loved me. I also had never met his parents. That changed that night. He was more excited than I was for the possibility of a child. He really loved children. I was less than thrilled because I was still in school, I had just moved out on my own and I was not financially ready for a child. The day I told him that everything would be okay and that we would not be having a child, it was as if I had punched him in the face. I could tell he was upset, but he said he fine.
This pregnancy scare tested our relationship. It showed me where we both stand when an event likes this takes place. I underestimated him. His reaction is what made me realize I loved him. I was more than just a girl he occasionally slept with by this point. Although I have moved, B and I still keep in contact with one another. It’s been four years since we made this arrangement and I can’t seem to throw away all the history that we share together. We’ve had few tests in our relationship: the pregnancy scare, the “break” we took from each other and now me moving away, but it does not stop us from loving each other. A test makes a relationship stronger.