My Thoughts on Religion

When I was a child, I once believed that God lived on the moon and watched us from above. I thought he had curly red hair, a green hat, and long striped stockings. I believed that he would sit there on his crescent throne, swinging his legs, granting the wishes of all the good boys and girls. Now, I’m not quite sure. I’m not quite sure he’s even real.

In the beginning, my family was avid church goers. We were Catholic upheld many of the practices. No meat on Fridays during lent, confessions to repent for sins and praying daily. We would attend morning mass every Sunday as well Sunday school classes that took place after mass. I never really understood why I had to maintain my attention quietly, for hours listening to a sermon and occasionally sitting, standing and kneeling. I remember reciting prayer after prayer until it was permanently engraved in my mind. Although I haven’t recited a prayer in years, I could recite them verbatim now.

I feel that the only time we pray is when we really need something. I find myself doing this from time to time or when I find myself in troubling times. Why is it that times we pray, most of them go unanswered? What kind of God would cover his ears to people who need something the most? All over the world, there are children dying from terminal illnesses, war-torn countries like Syria or epidemics of homelessness and hungry, yet our supposed God has done nothing about it. Why does God allow such bad things to happen?

I remember when my uncle died. He used to scare me. He was tall, had brooding eyes that sent shivers down my spine and a chuckle that could shake a room. He wasn’t my favorite person, but he was family. My family was praying, all night and day in hopes that someone would answer their prayers. They were crying hysterically. I remember tapping my mother on the shoulder, asking her what was the matter. “Someone very close has passed away,” she sobbed. They continued to pray. No one was listening. He didn’t come back. He was still dead.

As I grew older, I soon began to lose faith in something that I couldn’t see; yet I would still catch myself praying when I needed something. My prayers were never answered. I have been through some difficult times this past year and my struggle has caused me to lose faith in everything. I’ve tried to believe, but I can’t. I don’t want to believe in something that I can’t see. It feels as if the another underlying force decides our fate, but we have the power to make a decision.

I’m not exactly sure what I believe. I learn, observe and build off that knowledge. There are other cultures whose beliefs are not like our own, which is what makes them so fascinating. I don’t believe any religion is right or wrong. I think we all believe what gives us comfort.

I was inspired by atriumofwords by her profound post about her belief in God. You can read about it here. As I was reading, I could see a little bit of myself in her piece, which is why I decided to share a piece I had written in my advanced English composition class.


About meetmeinnevada

A Kansas girl trying to navigate the changes of the big city of Las Vegas, Nevada by talking about life, thoughts, and relationships.
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14 Responses to My Thoughts on Religion

  1. TheOriginalPhoenix says:

    I know how you feel, my faith in God is very shaky as you know. As long as you’re satisfied with your beliefs, that’s all that matters. You need to follow the path that works for you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for understanding. I don’t know how many times I get shunned for not believing. I will believe what I want to believe and that doesn’t make me a bad person.


      • TheOriginalPhoenix says:

        Exactly! Honestly, I never really spoke about my faith in God to anyone I knew because I knew they’d react negatively. It wasn’t the best feeling but my thing was I still believed I’d have faith again someday. And I do now. The thing with people is they’re not always open to ambiguity. We always want people to be cut and dry instead of evolving and adapting. But honestly that’s just how we are. Sexuality is fluid, faith can waver, and so on.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t really speak about it either. I remember my heavily religious friend asked me about it and I was afraid to tell her, but I’m glad I did. She was supportive as well as intrigued by what I thought. She didn’t try to convert me or persuade me otherwise. She knew what I believed and nothing was going to change that.


      • TheOriginalPhoenix says:

        Oh my gosh that’s so wonderful you have such a supportive friend! Wow!


  2. SR says:

    I have had times in my life like yours also. The questions, the getting so tired of the waiting, are You there, if so where are You? I cannot see You. How your post bring back many memories for me.

    Somehow through years He turned it all around. I think sometimes God waits on us, to see what we are going to do. I remember the hardest times were the months and months of silence. Never heard Him.

    Then one day I thought about all I believe in which I cannot see nor hear. Air, gravity, the moon in the daytime, the sun at night, the end of the universe, and so on and so forth. I also thought about all the blessings some of these things give me just to sustain life. I never see nor hear the seed of a wildflower growing in a field, yet in the spring there it is.

    It took a lot of years, tears, prayers, suffering, joyous moments, good things, and blessings and not so many blessings, for me to come to the realization, there had to be something bigger than myself out there. Though I did not understand many things, there had to be Someone more knowledgeable than myself Who did. The world just could not survive at all without Him.

    Hang in there. Be patient. It usually gets worse before it gets better. You are feeling nothing I have not felt, nor did not feel for many years. I wish you all the best and I hope next year is better for you. I understand your feelings so well.

    Love and God Bless, SR


    • Thank you for kind words. However, I think I am sticking very strongly to my beliefs agnosticism. All religions are beautiful. One god, two gods or many gods. I don’t know. I believe in fate and the universe. We all make our own decisions and they shape us who we are. My depiction of relgion is that it is a way that we try to make sense in what we don’t understand.


  3. Accidentally Single says:

    I came from the opposite family. We hardly ever went to church, yet I was curious about a God I prayed to before eating a meal, before sleeping, or when I needed something.

    As a teenager, I finally developed a relationship with old for myself and not because it was something that was “supposed to be done”. I had questions too. But I didn’t focus on religion. I focused on the relationship. Even at times when I don’t understand or feel that God has me on mute lol, I know He’s listening. I’ve been through a bit in life and I didn’t always understand. But I decided and still decide to trust God.

    If you want a relationship with God, seek Him. Seek a relationship first. That’s what helped me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • But don’t want a relationship with anything. I don’t know what to believe which is why I would say I’m agnostic. I believe in facts. I don’t see anything or hear anything. I just can’t rely on something that I believe people believe because it makes them feel better and gives them a reason for not understanding something. I’m not trying to dispute anyone’s religion. I think all religions are beautiful. For example Buddhism, they don’t believe in a God the believe in Buddha who states if you follow a path you will achieve enlightenment. That’s why I will not dispute that there may not in fact be a God or there may be two or more or maybe it’s a woman. I think my struggles in life attribute to the universe and the decisions we make.


      • Accidentally Single says:

        As you say, everyone seeks and finds what’s best for them. Keep finding and searching for the beauty in life itself and contributing to the good that happens in this world. ☺

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Whether a person believes in God or not, we all have our own lives to create beliefs that are unique to us. I believe that following our own path to what makes us happy is more important than following a religion just because we are expected to.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My faith in God only increases when I understand God as love, spirit, life, principle. But, it’s not easy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, they make me realize it’s okay to ponder and reflect, rather than insist on a particular religion.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for reading. You wouldn’t believe how many people comment trying to “change” my belief. I’m glad that you understand that I am not bashing on other religions because I believe they are equally beautiful.


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