Have you ever been so in love with someone that you begin to envision a life together? You look at them and immediately begin to see a future you want to share with them.
To begin your journey together you both decided to get married, binding you together in holy matrimony. You look into their eyes and know that you want to spend the rest of your life with them.
You envision a beautiful house. Painted a serene blue, lots of windows and large backyard for maybe a pool and patio.
The idea of children dances in your mind. One. Maybe two. Or even three. A family of five has a nice ring to it. You both have always wanted a large family.One boy, two girls. A boy to protect your little girls.
You both want what’s best for your children. You enroll them in dance classes and music lessons to help as they develop their aspirations. You see a little bit of yourself in them as they show their love for something you once had.
You both support each other in your careers. Success is in your eyes and you know you will stop at nothing to achieve a once unattainable goal.
You watch your children grow up. Dance recitals, music concerts, school plays, spelling bees and graduations. You endure even the most difficult times such as heartbreak and loss. You help them pick up the pieces. They grow up beautifully before your eyes and you both can’t help but weep when they decided to leave the nest. They spread their wings and fly away.
Your children produce grandchildren. All beautiful and special. You dote on them each chance you get.
You never thought you would imagine growing old together. It’s something unreal. What will you do with all this time?
I used to envision that life. I love someone. I have always been in love with B. As complicated as our relationship seems, it has always been something I was willing to fight for. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and I believe leaving was a wake-up for him. I want to try and makes things work because when you love someone you want to make things work. It’s strange. As much as I try to envision a life together, I find myself coming up short. I don’t know why I don’t see anything, but I’m aching to.