It’s Okay to Be Single

When you’re single, you have a lot of time to yourself (literally). In that time, I have spent my time reflecting on how exactly I feel about being single. We all want to find love. We all want to have that special bond with a person where you share experiences, secrets, and desires. In this day in age, it’s almost difficult to find someone who wants exactly what you want and if we do we think it can’t be true. We’re all afraid of getting hurt so put a wall up and continue to build that wall until the person who was trying to break it down gives up. What I have learned in my four years of singletude is that the time you spend single is a time in your life where you really find out who you are and what you want.

There are times when we are not happy with our lives. We were so sure that we would have everything figured out by now. Currently, I am not happy with the direction my life is going. I had many big plans for myself, but unfortunately, life happens and I didn’t follow through. My goal was to be finished with my degree, but I fell so far behind that I’m still trying to pick up the pieces. I still have two more years to complete. I wanted to have my dream job by now, but in order for me to have my dream job I need my degree. I am hopeful things will eventually start to be in my favor. I know that I want to be happy in my life before I settle down and share my happiness with someone else.

I still think about my ex sometimes. I know I shouldn’t, but after everything we shared it’s hard to forget. We were so used to each other’s company that it feels foreign to be on my own. It’s almost a burden. I need to remove him from my social media so that I’m not tempted to keep tabs on him. He is someone that doesn’t post frequently, but when he does it’s always something that tells you everything that he’s been up to since his absence.There is a reason why they are your ex. When I am confident that I have moved on completely, I know I can finally begin a life with someone without pondering on the past.

Dating is such a nuisance now. Gone are the days where people actually put time and effort to show that they actually want to spend time with someone. Netflix and chill? Come on. I love watching movies don’t get me wrong, but I would like a little more time and planning to go into it then just scrolling through the movie selection and then agreeing to disagree on something. I’ve found myself not trying to “date” because I wouldn’t even call it that. I avoid it by resisting in every way possible with casual hook-ups and meeting people at bars for drinks I can’t afford to buy. I know that I should dip my toe in the pool, but I just can’t bring myself to actually try dating. I feel that if I did I would lose sight of myself. I know what I want and deserve I don’t want to sell myself short.

Why are families so concerned with your dating life? I’ve received so much slack from relatives about why I haven’t settled down, mainly at holiday gatherings. “Are you dating?” “Have you met anyone?” “I know a nice boy for you.” My grandmother once said to me, “Oh, we all need a cup of tea sometimes, mija.” She winked. My personal choice to remain single is no one’s concern but my own and I believe that I need to make sure that I am ready for a relationship before I jump into one too quickly. I need to think about me before I think about a we.   

What I am trying to say is that there is nothing wrong with being single. You need to make sure they are happy with yourself before try finding someone. Use this time of being single find yourself and what you want. It’s not a bad thing. You know what you want. You know what you deserve. Do not sell yourself short because you are concerned that you will never find someone. I saw a couple the other day when I was leaving Target. They were walking in together hand and hand. The girl stopped to look at the ads posted on the store bulletin board. The guy grabbed her firmly and kissed her. The old me would have scoffed and said some snide remark about how they shouldn’t do that in public or they don’t make that great of a couple. The new me smiled. I know I will find someone that will make sure I know how much they love me daily. I’m not a bitter because I’m single. I’ve been embracing it.

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About meetmeinnevada

A Kansas girl trying to navigate the changes of the big city of Las Vegas, Nevada by talking about life, thoughts, and relationships.
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9 Responses to It’s Okay to Be Single

  1. Cezane says:

    This is a great post for all the singles out there. Truth spoken. ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You know that of course whenever I see someone write about being single I am immediately drawn to their post. I’m so glad you shared this. It reflects so much of what I have been going through as well. I just unfriended my ex yesterday because I knew I hand’t checked on it in a long time and was getting way too tempted to go there. Strength and perseverance, Sh! But most importantly, I’m glad you also see that it isn’t always about ‘bearing it’ and that being single can be enjoyable and fulfilling.

    Liked by 2 people

    • meetmeinnevada says:

      Exactly! I wish more people would feel that way. I know that as social creatures we are drawn to finding someone, but this time where you aren’t tied down is for you to figure out what you want. I used to be bitter about but honestly being bitter spreads negativity and people pick up on it.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Steve says:

    I’m a poor at reading such long posts, but this one drew me close, that I had to read it from top until the last word…..can see the flow of your thoughts and emotions……

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I just started following your blog and I love your attitude towards things.I have never really dated since I am the kind of person who needs space and some me time to get through life.I am constantly pestered by my friends to get into a relationship and I hate it when they set me up with random boys.I am waiting for the time I find someone whom I instantly click with and can still maintain my personal space and I am in no hurry.In the meantime I am working on developing my skills and enjoying singledom lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    • meetmeinnevada says:

      Thank for those kind words! I guess you can say I tell it like it is. I don’t like to sugar coat. I’m glad you feel the same way about dating, it’s really not the only way to live. My friends have learned to leave me alone, but family on the other hand is very pushy. Like you want to click with someone before I settle down. I’m glad you are enjoying your time! It’s nice to have positive singletude 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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