Maybe Means No

In my childhood, I used to ask my mother for trivial things that I wanted. “Can I have…” “Can we go…” Her answer was always maybe. More often than not, her maybe would turn into a yes. I began to associate the word maybe with yes.

I was in love at seventeen. His name was B. Our relationship was very different. We kept it a secret. I never told my family about him and my friends weren’t kept in the dark about many details that I refused to disclose. I was happy with this arrangement because it made him happy.

“Do you love me?” I said.

“Maybe.” he said and kissed me firmly on the lips.

I smiled as he pulled me closer. Being in his presence made me feel warm. He cared about me. He protected me. He made me feel safe. I knew that he loved me.

I was nineteen when he broke my heart. I could feel the distance between us. He pulled away but I resisted. He wouldn’t look me in the eye. He didn’t touch me anymore. He wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. I should have known that this was the end. What did I do wrong? Was there someone else?

“Did you even love me?”

“Maybe.” he said and walked way.

I was twenty-two when I left Kansas. B was pushed to the back of mind. He was nothing more than a distant memory of heartbreak. He contacted me last week to ask me if I was enjoying Nevada. Mundane conversation to mask the fact that there was unfinished business between us. He kept asking if I was coming back or if I will be visiting on holiday.

“Will you be coming back?” he asked.

“Maybe.” I said.

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About meetmeinnevada

A Kansas girl trying to navigate the changes of the big city of Las Vegas, Nevada by talking about life, thoughts, and relationships.
This entry was posted in Life, Memories and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Maybe Means No

  1. Accidentally Single says:

    You’re a talented writer. As a child, maybe always meant “no” in my house. Only “yes ” meant yes.

    Don’t let unfinished business go years unresolved. It has a way of imprisoning you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • meetmeinnevada says:

      Thank you! I didn’t realize my hidden talent of writing until my sophomore year of college believe it or not. Unfinished business seems to be an ongoing theme in my life.

      Like

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